


Show You You're Not Broken

by redeyedwrath



Series: Sterek Tumblr Ficlets [19]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (Luckily for him he has a Stiles), Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling & Snuggling, Demisexual Derek, Insecure Derek, M/M, Virgin Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 00:49:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8124196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeyedwrath/pseuds/redeyedwrath
Summary: “I’m just saying, I don’t have to have sex with you to love you.”
Or, in which Derek is insecure about his virginity and Stiles loves him





	

**Author's Note:**

> I've been waiting to write a demisexual!Derek ficlet (re: my Tumblr URL) and this prompt gave me the perfect excuse! I hope y'all like it ^^ 
> 
> **Note 1:** There's no actual sex in this fic 
> 
> **Note 2:** "Datemate" is a gender-neutral term for boyfriend/girlfriend

They’ve been together for three months when Stiles first asks about it. Honestly, Derek should’ve expected this would happen because he’s twenty-four and it’s a normal thing to ask your boyfriend, but the moment the word ‘ _sex_ ’ leaves Stiles’ mouth, Derek is _this close_ to crying.

 “I’m not-” he says, twisting his fingers in the sleeves of his shirt. “I don’t- I’m not ready.”

Stiles’ hand squeezes his thigh, and when he looks up there’s a soft smile on his face. “That’s fine, Derek, really. I was just asking to see where your boundaries are.”

Derek tentatively smiles back, trying to stop the blush spreading over his cheeks when Stiles coos and kisses his cheek.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Stiles says, pulling him down so they can cuddle. Derek shrugs and buries his face in Stiles’ neck. He shivers when Stiles’ hands run through the hair at the nape of his neck, fingernails gently scraping over the skin. “I’m just saying, I don’t have to have sex with you to love you.”

-

See, the thing is, Derek’s a virgin.

It’s not a thing he’s proud of, necessarily, considering the last few people he told stared at him for two minutes and asked if he was kidding. With the exception of Stiles, of course, but Stiles is twenty-two and has his life _together_ and so obviously not a virgin that Derek doesn’t know what he should do.

There were rumors before they got together, about Stiles sucking off anyone who asked, and even though Derek has never explicitly asked him about it, Stiles is open about his past relationships. Derek _knows_ he’s not a virgin.

It’s not that Derek doesn’t want to have sex, that’s not the issue here. Stiles is one of the few people he’s been sexually attracted to in his life - the other being Paige - and he _wants_ to have sex with him. It’s just scary.

He doesn’t know if he’ll be good enough; Stiles has had a boyfriend, two girlfriends and a datemate before him, and Derek isn’t jealous of them, but it makes everything a lot harder. Plus, he doesn’t really know where to start. Sure, he’s watched porn before - he didn’t really like it - and he’s had sex ed but he doesn’t know _what to do_.

-

The moment he closes the door Stiles has him pressed up against it, biting at his lips, hands running down his sides and under his t-shirt. He moans, grabbing Stiles’ hair and pulling him closer, _closer_ , because he can’t get enough and he _needs_.

It feels so easy to slide down to his knees, to keep eye-contact with Stiles, watching as Stiles’ breath hitches. Stiles’ eyes are dark, _hungry_ and it gives Derek the confidence to direct his gaze down to Stiles’ cock.

It looks huge, even through the fabric of Stiles’ pants and it might not even be huge but it _looks huge and Derek can’t breathe._

“Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

He can’t stop mumbling, forehead pressed to Stiles’ thigh, Stiles’ cock next to his cheek. He clenches his hands; he can’t do this, he can’t, he’s _not good enough_.

“Hey, _hey_ ,” Stiles says, fingers pressing softly into Derek’s cheeks, tilting his head up. He’s frowning and for a second Derek’s heart drops because _he put that look on Stiles’ face_. “I’m not mad.”

Derek breathes in, then out again, trying to control his breathing. Stiles slides down until he’s eye-level with Derek, and softly presses a kiss to his lips. It’s so different from a few minutes ago that Derek almost cries.

“I’m not mad,” Stiles whispers. “I love you no matter what, I promise.”

Derek just nods weakly - he doesn’t trust his own voice right now - and lets Stiles pull him into his arms.

-

“Hey, Derek?” Stiles asks one night when they’re in bed together, Stiles’ back pressed against Derek’s chest. Derek hums and presses a kiss to the back of Stiles’ neck, burying his nose in Stiles’ hair. He just - he _loves Stiles so much_. “D’you think you might be ace?”

“What’s that?”

Stiles twists around in his arms until their noses are pressed together, and Derek goes cross-eyed trying to look at him. Stiles laughs - the soft one, the one that’s just for Derek - and pecks his nose before leaning back a little.

“Ace means asexual. It’s when you’re not sexually attracted to people.”

Derek flushes, laying his forehead on Stiles’ shoulder. “I’m not _not_ sexually attracted to people.”

Stiles runs his fingers through Derek’s hair again, just the way he knows Derek likes it. It’s stupid, maybe, that they spend so much time in a bed together but they haven’t had sex yet. Derek isn’t sure if he’d have it any other way.

“So you’re sexually attracted to me,” Stiles says, voice quiet. Derek nods. Sometimes he wishes he could just fall into Stiles, pressing them together so tightly he doesn’t know where he ends and Stiles begins.

They’re quiet for a moment, the only sound the rustling of the sheets and their breathing. Stiles’ fingers trail warm paths of Derek’s skin and he’s never felt safer than he does right now, wrapped up in Stiles.

“You might be demi,” Stiles says, voice fragile like he’s afraid of ruining whatever quiet comfortability they’ve found. “It’s where you’re only sexually attracted to people you’ve got a bond with.”

“Maybe.” Derek shrugs and pulls Stiles closer again until he can kiss his shoulder, nuzzling into the crook of Stiles’ neck. He rubs his stubble against the skin and Stiles giggles, trying to shove him away. Derek smirks and digs his fingers into Stiles’ ribs until Stiles is squirming with laughter.

“Uncle, uncle!” Stiles yells, cheeks flushed and tears rolling down his cheeks. Derek laughs and collapses on top of him.

“I love you,” Stiles whispers as he kisses Derek’s temple. Derek smiles and hugs him closer until they’re breathing the same air.

“I love you too,” he says, and he means it.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp this might be the schmoopiest thing I've written in a while but cuddles!!! I love cuddles aaaah 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you thought? 
> 
> [Yo I have a Tumblr where you can talk to me about demisexual!Derek all day every day ^^](http://demisexualhale.tumblr.com)
> 
> (Also thanks to the ultimate mom aka [crossroadswrite](http://crossroadswrite.tumblr.com) for beta'ing!)


End file.
